Learning to love oneself

 Learning to love oneself is a journey that requires time, patience, and effort. It can be particularly challenging when we feel that the love we receive from others is conditional or lacking, but it is still possible to cultivate self-love even in such circumstances. Here are some strategies that may be helpful:

Practice self-compassion: Treat yourself with kindness, empathy, and understanding, just as you would a close friend who is going through a tough time. Recognize that you are doing the best you can in the circumstances you are in, and that everyone makes mistakes.

Challenge negative self-talk: Notice the negative thoughts you have about yourself and replace them with positive affirmations. For example, if you catch yourself thinking "I'm not good enough", try replacing it with "I am worthy and deserving of love and respect".

Engage in self-care: Take care of your physical, emotional, and mental health by engaging in activities that nourish your body, mind, and soul. This could include getting enough sleep, eating a balanced diet, exercising, practicing mindfulness, spending time in nature, or pursuing hobbies that bring you joy.

Cultivate healthy relationships: Surround yourself with people who uplift and support you, rather than those who bring you down. Seek out relationships that are based on mutual respect and love, and avoid those that are conditional or toxic.

Seek professional help: If you are struggling with feelings of self-hatred or low self-worth, consider seeking the help of a therapist or counselor. They can provide you with tools and strategies to build your self-esteem and overcome negative thought patterns.

Remember, learning to love yourself is not a destination, but a lifelong journey. It may take time, but with practice and persistence, you can learn to cultivate self-love and find fulfillment and happiness in your life.

But how to love others when they demand of us a pre-configured conditional form of loving - which puts us in a pattern of lying - how to adapt in a world full of such relationships of mutually beneficial agreements of "loving" ?

Navigating relationships that feel conditional or inauthentic can be difficult, and it's normal to feel frustrated or resentful in such situations. Here are some strategies that may be helpful in learning to love others while staying true to yourself:

Set healthy boundaries: Identify what you are and are not comfortable with in your relationships, and communicate these boundaries clearly and respectfully. This can help to prevent situations in which you feel forced to lie or be inauthentic in order to please others.

Practice empathy: Try to understand where the other person is coming from, and why they may be demanding a certain form of love from you. By empathizing with their needs and desires, you may be able to find a compromise that feels more authentic and fulfilling for both parties.

Practice authenticity: Be honest with yourself and others about your thoughts, feelings, and needs. It's important to be genuine in your relationships, even if it means risking rejection or disapproval.

Seek out healthy relationships: Surround yourself with people who love and accept you for who you are, rather than those who demand a pre-configured form of love. Seek out relationships that are based on mutual respect and trust, and avoid those that feel conditional or inauthentic.

Practice self-love: Learning to love yourself unconditionally can help you to approach relationships from a place of strength and self-assuredness, rather than from a place of fear or neediness. By cultivating a strong sense of self-love, you may be better equipped to navigate relationships in a way that feels authentic and fulfilling for all involved.

Remember, learning to love others authentically while staying true to yourself is a process, and it may take time and effort to find the right balance. By setting healthy boundaries, practicing empathy, authenticity, and self-love, you may be able to build relationships that are based on mutual respect and love, rather than on pre-configured forms of conditional love.