7:30 a.m. I’m sitting at the kitchen table, holding my cup of coffee, watching the first rays of light slowly cross the room. Last night, I caught myself replaying that conversation from yesterday again - the one that left me with that familiar, dull irritation in my chest. In the past, I would have spent my whole day blaming the other person for being rude, tactless, or just not understanding me. Today, though, I’m trying to pause for a moment and just breathe. I’m beginning to understand that the outer world around me is simply a mirror of my soul. Everything on the outside that gets on my nerves is my own projection. The people who irritate me are just actors my own subconscious has summoned to play out an important scene and show me my own inner landscape.
We usually react to life on a completely superficial level. This is flat, horizontal thinking - we endlessly ask, 'Why me?', 'Who’s to blame?', or 'Why am I so unlucky again?' We spin in a vicious cycle of cause and effect, trying to fix or rearrange external circumstances. But when I slow down, I can switch to vertical thinking. It doesn't look for culprits on the surface; it dives deep and asks, 'What does this mean? What is this moment trying to tell me?' Suddenly, every event stops being a coincidence and becomes a reflection of something happening inside me.
I notice how many things I try to hide from myself. All those emotions I consider 'unacceptable' - anger, envy, weakness, the fear of rejection - I simply push into a corner. But they don’t disappear. All of it goes straight into my shadow. And the more I pretend to be ideal, the denser this shadow becomes, and the more aggressively it materializes on the outside in the form of bad luck, sudden obstacles, or destructive conflicts. Life is built on polarities - we can’t have only light without darkness. True wholeness doesn’t come from being artificially good, but from the courage to accept our opposites and give our dark side the right to exist as well.
When I keep ignoring these internal signals, my body simply takes the hit and starts speaking for me. It’s enough to observe myself: that sudden tightness in my stomach, the neck pain, or the heaviness in my chest that’s been following me for days. Every physical symptom is simply a signpost showing me where I lack awareness. The body materializes what the spirit has failed to process. Every ailment is a symbol waiting to be decoded, not just suppressed.
And the more I observe this process, the more clearly I see how the ancient principle of Hermeticism works. Everything in life is connected through a simple analogy: as within, so without; as above, so below. My breath, the rhythm of my heart, my changing moods - all of it reflects the rhythm of the world around me. I am not separate from the Universe; I am part of its quiet, orderly architecture.
I know that taking personal responsibility for everything that happens to me feels heavy at first. It’s much cozier to stay in the victim role and blame circumstances. But when you give up that role, you gain immense freedom. Instead of fighting the mirror and trying to change others, I simply stop and fix something within myself. That’s when the quiet transformation happens. The dark corners don’t frighten me as much anymore, and the demons of my shadow gradually become my allies.
The sun is high now. My coffee went cold long ago, but I feel a stillness inside. Everything is fine just as it is. I just need to keep breathing, observing, and being honest with myself.
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