Self-Inquiry or "Who Am I?" - A Diary-Essay on the Long and Short Paths to Awakening
Morning arrives with that peculiar, almost disembodied silence in which light does not yet possess color, only contours. I sit before the blank page of my diary, feeling the coolness of the air blend with the rhythm of my breathing. In this weightless hour, before the world has imposed its noisy demands and roles, a single inquiry surfaces from the depths of my being, blurring the boundaries between dreaming and waking: Who am I? This is not merely a question addressed to the intellect; it is a muffled, yearning moan of the soul seeking its lost home. Behind me lie years of arduous, at times despair-inducing, inner labor. This is the Long Path - the pathway of the slow, methodical polishing of the human vessel so that it may become fit for the "descent of the Holy Spirit." From the perspective of spiritual psychoanalysis, this stage is a time for the raw construction and refinement of the ego. We cannot transcend that which we have not first known and tamed. For years, I ...
